Stretch! said the Balloon Lady

Leave the Sticker On

Don’t touch my sticker!

Out for drinks with a girlfriend she reaches towards me, asking “What is this?” She begins scraping at my reading glasses. “Hey what’s the big idea?!” I askclaim (that’s when I exclaim and ask at the same time).

I take them off.

She says, “You left the sticker on. Y’know the magnifying number.”

“I know I did,” I say, “That’s so I can remember what magnification to get the next time.”

“Can’t you just remember?” she asks, seemingly incredulous.

I indignantly reply, “No. I can’t. That’s way too many numbers. I have certain readers for reading, and stronger ones for eating, and less strong ones for the computer monitor.”


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